Do not dare cry for yourself!

These words have stuck in my head since I read them three weeks ago in one of my Above Rubies magazines, "don't dare cry for yourself! Are you a cry baby or a cry warrior?" I was truly listening since I had just finished having a "good" cry the day before. It may have felt good to give into the tears, but there was nothing "good" about it. I cried because I was feeling sorry for myself and I wanted to pout over all the ugly thoughts I entertained. Besides I deserve to cry I told myself I'm hormonal, postpartum, and tired . Maybe these things were true, but as I have learned crying about them won't help. I would only cry again feeling guilty that I wasn't strong enough to control myself and my thoughts. I am not telling you not to cry my daughters actually you can cry all you want especially when you are hormonal, God gave us the gift of tears especially during this time, but do not cry for yourself!
This was the message, "we must learn to use this weapon correctly because we are in a war that rages against normalcy, making mockery of God, and against tyranny and injustice. We battle for our homes and children...Warriors cry tears with a purpose...we cannot afford to waste one teardrop crying with self pity! It's like having a powerful weapon with the barrel pointed our way...let God choose your battles..." (Evangeline Johnson) I thought this sounded great, the Bible even says we should teach you, my daughters, to cry (Jeremiah 9:20).
Over Thanksgiving weekend I vowed to God that I would use my tears for others, I even had specific people in mind. Well today was the day to test out this plan!
I woke up tired and sore from having a dance party with my family last night. (Reggae to big band music, I believe this was the first good day of excercise I have had since before the baby was born). I am late getting up, trying to think of breakfast and lunch for dad, reminded of tonight's company dinner I have to get our family ready for, do we even have clean clothes? I need to get this house straightened before we start school, some more I wants and wishes. You know that feeling? before the day even starts you are ready for it to be over. I wanted to have another"good" cry, and then I was reminded of my vow. And of course my first thought was "how in the world do I do that? " I wanted to cry for me not them. But then I knew I had to try using my coming tears with a purpose, so I snuck downstairs and started praying for my "people". The tears came and as I realized some of the hurting people I was crying for were hurt and hurting as a result of living for their wants and wishes, My perspective shifted! I just wanted to share with you my daughters that self pity makes you ugly inside and out. Tears don't have to be wasted in making you feel worse, but they can be your weapon to cry for someone else. Prayer works, God listens, God is good!

Mother
By Cara
With every tear I cry for me
My heart is hurt and heavy

With every tear I cry for you My life is far from empty

Missionary Missionary
Sing your beautiful song
Contented to be living under Gods protection!

I am loved, I am in love

Repremanded, hugged

Missionary, Missionary
Mother, wife, and warrior
Water, shine, and wait
They are a Flowering destiny

P.S. new moms and prego moms cry a lot. Don't be discouraged my loves. Fight the desire to wallow in your anger or sadness and serve others with every tear. Depression cannot live in a thankful heart! Thank You Father God for my beautiful babies and loving husband!